I have two recurring fantasies on the morning after the kids leave.
Fantasy one: Someone walks into my house, stops mid-step, and says, “Wow—your house is really clean. How do you do it?” Naturally, I reply, “It’s not that clean. This place is always a work in progress.” We both laugh nervously—like someone just farted. Then I glance at an imaginary camera (yes, there’s a camera in this fantasy), give a conspiratorial wink, and say, “The secret is powdered Tide.” Cue cheerful music and fade to black.
Fantasy two: I find my Apple Pencil.
Because of our whirlwind schedule, the creatures get full run of the place when they’re here. I do my best to keep things tidy (and sometimes convince them to pitch in), but it’s a bit of a circus. By the time they return to their mom’s house, the place is thoroughly wrecked.
My son is an agent of chaos—any room he enters becomes a disaster zone. My daughter, on the other hand, is a one-girl imagination factory. She repurposes household objects into magical inventions and misplaces them in equally magical places. My Apple Pencil appears and vanishes all the time without any rhyme or reason. It’s been missing three weeks now. But I have unshakable faith it will return any day now.
🧽 The Real Cleaning System (and Economic Hacks)
One thing I would have never imagined before becoming a parent was how focussed I’ve become on keeping a clean house. Not Pinterest- perfect, but at least functional. My real secret? Organization… and powdered Tide.
Here’s how the system works:
Day 1: Tidy the house. Bathrooms, clutter, chaos containment.
Day 2: Floors and surfaces. Reset the space.
Day 3: The creatures return, and everything starts over.
On a single income, being economical matters. My go-to cleaner is a DIY mix: water, a scoop of Tide, and a tablespoon of chlorine. Cheap, effective, and strong enough to combat tornado damage.
🧸 Creatures and Clean-Up
I’ve been working on getting the kids more involved. It’s not easy—they’re only with me part-time, and our days are jam-packed. But teaching them responsibility is essential, even in small doses. Lately, we’ve had wins, like getting dirty clothes into the hamper (most of the time). Progress, not perfection.
🎯 The Real Measure of Clean
Let’s be honest—keeping the house spotless is a nice dream. But until a mysterious inheritance appears and I can hire help, it’s probably just going to stay a dream. And that’s okay. Chaos brings character. So for now, I’ll count the small wins:
A half-clean house.
Two happy kids.
And, maybe someday soon, my Apple Pencil.